The silliest thing you saw today?

Post by **JJW009** » Thu Apr 16, 2009 4:21 am

That wat is seriously old, but they're classics for a reason <img src='http://i2.ifrm.com/html/emoticons/tongue.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tongue.gif' />

This is not so funny, but it's still the funniest thing I saw today. I installed Windows 7 ages ago, but I've only just gotten around to installing Live on it. This means I now don't need XP, so I can properly get used to 7.

Live imported my gmails. I have a few:

<img src='http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a254/ ... y/mail.png' border='0' alt='user posted image'>

10506 to be precise - 5 of which were not spam <img src='http://i2.ifrm.com/html/emoticons/laugh.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='laugh.gif' />

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<div class='signature'> <img src='http://myanimelist.net/signature/JJW009.png' border='0' alt='user posted image'> ??? <img src='http://imagegen.last.fm/LastfmMyspace/oartists/5/JJW009.gif' border='0' alt='user posted image'>

Mrs Redeyes · Post by **Mrs Redeyes** » Fri Apr 17, 2009 12:06 pm

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back...

or that you could crawl into a hole?

Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly,

'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?'

I turned around and walked back out and never went back.

My husband didn't say a word...he knew better.

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.

I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.

After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.

Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with men's balls best'

My sister and I were at the supermarketl and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.

I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'

My sister started to laugh hysterically.

The boy grinned, and I turned beetroot-red and walked away.

To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust

and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving

'right now' she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,

'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'

The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?

My three-year-old son Danny had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at McDonalds for a quick lunch, in between errands

It was very busy with a full dining room. While enjoying my lunch, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven- month-old daughter, she was clean.

I then realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go and he said 'No' . I kept thinking 'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me.' Then I said, 'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?' 'No,' he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. So I asked one more time, 'Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks

and yelled 'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!'

While 30 people nearly choked to death on their lunch laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks.

What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!

We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:

'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'

Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

<!--emo&

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<div class='signature'>"Why do the people who know the least, know it the loudest?"

"Illegitmi non carborundum est!"

<img src='http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w165 ... Icon-1.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>

Post by **JJW009** » Fri Apr 24, 2009 1:41 am

Post by **JJW009** » Tue Apr 28, 2009 11:37 pm

From the udder plaice.

<img src='http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v720/ ... /27K39.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>

Perhaps that should be in the news section?

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<div class='signature'> <img src='http://myanimelist.net/signature/JJW009.png' border='0' alt='user posted image'> ??? <img src='http://imagegen.last.fm/LastfmMyspace/oartists/5/JJW009.gif' border='0' alt='user posted image'>

KindaWobbly · Post by **KindaWobbly** » Fri May 15, 2009 7:26 pm

From the instructions of the mini oven we've just bought for my Granny:

Russell Hobbs wrote:Now you must burn the protective coatings off the elements. This generates fumes, so if you suffer from any breathing problems, get someone else to do it (even if you don't suffer from anything, it's not a bad idea to get someone else to do the dirty jobs).

Sound advice, I reckon!

Post by **JJW009** » Fri May 15, 2009 7:36 pm

KindaWobbly wrote:From the instructions of the mini oven we've just bought for my Granny:

Russell Hobbs wrote:Now you must burn the protective coatings off the elements. This generates fumes, so if you suffer from any breathing problems, get someone else to do it (even if you don't suffer from anything, it's not a bad idea to get someone else to do the dirty jobs).

Sound advice, I reckon!

LMAO ROFL <!--emo&

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<div class='signature'> <img src='http://myanimelist.net/signature/JJW009.png' border='0' alt='user posted image'> ??? <img src='http://imagegen.last.fm/LastfmMyspace/oartists/5/JJW009.gif' border='0' alt='user posted image'>

Mrs Redeyes · Post by **Mrs Redeyes** » Wed May 20, 2009 8:17 am

It might not have been today, but for those of you who didn't get propaganda-mail from the Conservatives, I thought this was genius:

<img src='http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w165 ... ection.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>

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<div class='signature'>"Why do the people who know the least, know it the loudest?"

"Illegitmi non carborundum est!"

<img src='http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w165 ... Icon-1.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>

Post by **JJW009** » Mon Jun 15, 2009 10:27 pm

[quote=""leeds_manc""][quote=""JJW009""]Is that the moon up there?[/quote]

Nah it's more than likely one of our other giant crescent-moon-shaped orbiting satelites.[/quote]

http://www.x404.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?...t=110&start=120

<img src='http://i2.ifrm.com/html/emoticons/laugh.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='laugh.gif' />

Also:

Quiveringhooker Has a life

http://www.x404.co.uk/forum/memberlist.php...ewprofile&u=117

LOL WTF? <!--emo&

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<div class='signature'> <img src='http://myanimelist.net/signature/JJW009.png' border='0' alt='user posted image'> ??? <img src='http://imagegen.last.fm/LastfmMyspace/oartists/5/JJW009.gif' border='0' alt='user posted image'>

belchingmatt · Post by **belchingmatt** » Mon Jun 15, 2009 11:13 pm

You don't remember when quiveringhooker joined Dennis??? Must have been 3 years ago.

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<div class='signature'> I'm not addicted to porn, I'm addicted to masturbation. Porn is just an enabler.

<img src='http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y81/ma ... Threat.gif' border='0' alt='user posted image'>

There are plenty more fish in the sea, get your tackle out and see what bites.

Divers go deeper and stay down for longer.

Post by **JJW009** » Mon Jun 15, 2009 11:14 pm

belchingmatt wrote:You don't remember when quiveringhooker joined Dennis??? Must have been 3 years ago.

Nope. I'm guessing maybe they were on the dark side?

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<div class='signature'> <img src='http://myanimelist.net/signature/JJW009.png' border='0' alt='user posted image'> ??? <img src='http://imagegen.last.fm/LastfmMyspace/oartists/5/JJW009.gif' border='0' alt='user posted image'>

belchingmatt · Post by **belchingmatt** » Mon Jun 15, 2009 11:31 pm

It came under the topic Strange Usernames, posted by leeds.

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<div class='signature'> I'm not addicted to porn, I'm addicted to masturbation. Porn is just an enabler.

<img src='http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y81/ma ... Threat.gif' border='0' alt='user posted image'>

There are plenty more fish in the sea, get your tackle out and see what bites.

Divers go deeper and stay down for longer.

paulpowers · Post by **paulpowers** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 9:12 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pLj9BoNb1U&

Why just why <!--emo&

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<div class='signature'> Dreams come at the cost of reality

jonlumb · Post by **jonlumb** » Wed Jun 24, 2009 7:22 am

<img src='http://izismile.com/img/img2/20090624/s ... 183_24.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>

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<div class='signature'> I can feel bits of my brain falling away like pieces of wet cake.

bally199 · Post by **bally199** » Sat Jun 27, 2009 12:32 am

Someone on iPodTouchFans wrote:This is iPodTouchFans, not Erection Fans!

Post by **JJW009** » Sat Jun 27, 2009 1:06 am

LOL, did you take that?

Welcome back btw.

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<div class='signature'> <img src='http://myanimelist.net/signature/JJW009.png' border='0' alt='user posted image'> ??? <img src='http://imagegen.last.fm/LastfmMyspace/oartists/5/JJW009.gif' border='0' alt='user posted image'>